Dating Advice Archives - Elegant Introductions

Dating Advice

miami dating service

It’s A Lovely City! Here’s Why A Miami Dating Service Is Better Than Tinder or Bumble For Finding Love

Online dating is no longer a shameful thing you need to hide from friends and family -- they're probably doing it too. In fact, 49.7 million single Americans have done it.

In 2019, online dating makes sense. It's a more efficient way to get to know your next potential partner. Gone are the days of meeting people in real life, only to discover later that you have incompatible politics or future plans.

Unfortunately, however, many dating platforms seem to be geared toward hooking up. That's where this Miami dating service comes in.

If you're interested in a more sophisticated online dating experience, read on!

Who Dates Online?

Considering that over 49 million Americans use online dating services, it's accurate to say there is plenty of fish in the digital sea. There are at least a few somebodies for everyone.

Dating applications and services usually have more men than women -- typically 60% and 40%, respectively. This makes the odds for women finding a partner very favorable. 

Is It Safe?

Despite what sensational news headlines would have you believe, online dating is safe if it's done right. With an online dating service, you're in the hands of professionals, ensuring that your safety is kept.

One thing that online dating services like Elegant Introductions do (that applications do not) is vet every single match. These potential matches are screened and hand chosen to fit your unique wants and needs. 

Paid vs. Free

Free services are ideal for someone on a strict budget who is only looking for short-lived hookups. Anyone with even a little expendable income is better served with a paid online dating service.

Those who pay for dating services are essentially more accountable for their actions on that dating service. Usually, people don't intend to just throw their money away. This means they'll take their commitment to the service -- and to finding the right partner -- more seriously. 

What to Expect

Online dating services offer clients a more personalized and stress-free experience than free applications. You can expect your matchmaker to cater to your wants and needs. 

First, this will involve meeting will your matchmaker to identify important aspects of your personality. This includes your likes, dislikes, and other preferences. 

Then, your matchmaker will search for the values and features you seek in a partner. This can include anything from appearance to communication styles.

Finally, once you have a match, you can discuss details with your matchmaker as you plan to meet the next potential love of your life. Your matchmaker can plan everything for you to help you relax.

Afterwards, you can discuss the experience with your matchmaker and tune things for next time if necessary.

Our Miami Dating Service

Using a Miami dating service will likely result in a completely different experience to what you'll find on Tinder or Bumble. You will have access to licensed professionals who have the expertise needed to find a suitable partner. 

Although dating online requires technology, it still includes many of the essentials of dating in real life. Most clients want a potential partner with a decent career, good social skills, and other personality traits that can enrich a relationship.

When seeking your next life partner, don't hesitate to ask Elegant Introductions for a little help. 

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Swimming With The Sharks? Time To Get Out of The Water

Dating Direction from The Relationship Experts at Elegant Introductions

Swimming with the sharks in dating It might be an exaggeration to say that most singles are SHARKS, but the unfortunate truth is that there are a lot of them swimming around in the dating pool. So what to do? First and foremost, know who you are dating. Don’t just assume that because you met someone through a friend that everything is ok. Do your homework. Check out Google, Linkedin and even a background check might be in order for a second or third date. (If you are using a matchmaker make sure that the date is properly vetted). We also suggest that you meet your first date in a neutral location. Do not let him/her pick you up. It’s possible that you may not recognize a shark when you see one. After all, even sharks are on their best behavior when they come in for the bait. Our suggestion is to take things slowly and to try to avoid falling into old patterns that can lead you into the “Shark Danger Zone”. But having said all this, dating can be fun, exciting and satisfying if you learn how, where, and with whom to swim…. There is a big ocean out there….Go for it and enjoy…. Dr. Nancy Gold and Barbara Black Goldfarb Cofounders of Elegant Introductions Visit us at jelegantintroductions.com or call 1.305.615.1900 This article originally appeared in our weekly column on EastHampton.com.  
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How to Make his Heart Pound

How to Make his Heart Pound

Matchmaker Advice on How to Make his Heart Pound

If there’s one question we hear more than any other, it’s “how do I make him want me?” And we’re not the only ones. Google searches for “texts to make him want me” are through the roof! And in any given episode of The Bachelor, the all-elusive ‘connection’ is mentioned more times than we can count (we don’t recommend the Bachelor drinking game for that exact reason). But, ladies, we understand. Chemistry can feel so out of your control, it’s natural to worry and wonder if he feels any of the attraction you feel. And with article after article claiming “men are visual creatures,” it’s easy to feel like a heart-stopping romance is the prerogative of the celebrity beautiful. Well, we have good news and bad news… …It’s not just physical; it’s how you make him feel. After all, if it were purely physical, no attractive person would ever be home alone watching Netflix on a Saturday night (and we’ve all been there). But the bad news is this means you’re going to have to put in some effort when you’re ready to make the connection. No more sitting around waiting for proverbial lightning to strike. If you’ve gotten yourself a matchmaker or a dating coach, you’re already halfway there! But since we won’t be dating for you, here are our top tips to get him falling for you: Compliment and appreciate him Men LOVE compliments—sometimes they just have a hard time admitting it. Typically, men are expected to do more complimenting of others than receiving kind words and they often receive fewer romantic compliments than their partners. Sounds exhausting. Listen to him, notice him, and let him know what you appreciate. He might not know how to respond at first, but he might start to feel like he can relax with you and lower his defenses. And isn’t that a big part of what a relationship is about, after all? Don’t be afraid to let him see that you’re trying to connect Playing hard to get may sound sexy, but it rarely works. A relationship is reciprocal, give-and-take, so anyone ready for a relationship is looking for that. Real effort to connect with someone is the biggest non-verbal compliment you can give. It shows that you acknowledge and accept the other person, and everyone loves that feeling. Get into Body Language Nonverbal communication is key. Most communication occurs through nonverbal cues, and honestly, our human brains are not as great multitaskers as we think. We can barely process audial and visual information at the same time. So take some time to just listen and observe. Notice what topics excite him, what stories light him up. You’ll learn more about your date and about his interest level in you from these nonverbal cues than from all the witty repartee in the book. Don’t Worry, Be Happy Yep, Bobby McFerrin had it right. We’ve seen it time and time again, happy people are much more attractive and get more dates. Just trust us, you look great when you smile! And once you’ve made him feel listened to, appreciated, excited, and happy, he won’t be able to wait for your next date!
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You had a great first date! Now what?

As elite matchmakers, we love hearing about wonderful first dates. Is there anything better than that tingly feeling you get when the sparks fly? Then, there’s the question that so many singles have: What do I do now? It’s actually a very good question. You want another date, but if you respond too soon, you’ll appear needy. On the other hand, if you wait too long, he’ll think you’re not interested. Are you supposed to just sit by your phone? Absolutely not! Our advice to professional singles is this: if you can’t wait to go out again, there’s a very simple thing you can do that will help save your sanity and keep the line of communication open, too. Simply text your date. Tell him you had a wonderful time, and that you look forward to seeing him again. Do this, even if you already said this during your first date. It certainly doesn’t hurt to be reminded. You really don’t have to say anything more. With this very simple move, you’ve put the proverbial ball in his court – without asking for another date. What happens next will tell you a lot. Hopefully, your date will respond quickly. When you do connect again, remember to breathe and be in the moment during the conversation. Listen closely to what he’s telling you. Chances are, you will pick up on his interests. Say, for example, that he loves to dance, and you do, too. You could mention a favorite nightclub of yours and ask him if he’s ever been there. This gives him a clearer picture of what you like and makes it easier for him to ask for another date. It’s important to remember that, even after an incredible first date, the two of you are still getting to know each other. After we, as matchmakers, arrange dates for our clients, we always speak with them individually to find out how the date went, and to guide them on next steps. Over and over again, our clients tell us how much they appreciate it when their dates share what they enjoy doing. Nobody should be expected to be a mind-reader. (This is something to keep in mind even if you get more serious with each other.) The bottom line is, be open, be confident be of good cheer. Your date will pick up on your enthusiasm, and if the feelings are mutual, a second date will be right around the corner.    
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Your best heart healthy diet is to live life with an open heart

Heart healthy diets usually include superfoods.

Here are the “super ingredients” for a healthy love life. Whether you’re searching for or involved in a loving relationship you should have the same comfortable feeling as when you’re walking in your favorite slippers. A word of caution, what looks good on paper isn’t always what’s best for you, so check out the energy when you’re together. Ease in a relationship is critical. None of us wants to feel judged or self conscious about our every move. After all who among us hasn’t said something wrong, or gained a few pounds while on a summer vacation? Most people are looking for their date, at least at the outset, to be fun, easy going, nonjudgmental, flexible, playful, silly and forgiving. The golden rule is applicable here, treat others the way you want to be treated. At the beginning of a relationship, don’t put pressure on yourself or your date to determine if this is the “one”. Be realistic with your acceptable standards, so you don’t miss out on someone great. Give your date a chance, people are often nervous on a first date. Take things slowly and enjoy the moment. Ask questions and listen, you know everything you need to know about you, find out about him/her. Try to reserve judgment about your date and let it take its natural course. Don’t generalize one behavior and assume it’s the whole person. Express gratitude for the time together. The feminine is receptive and the masculine is active. He will pursue you if interested and she will respond to you if she is. So watch the behaviors beyond the words. As the relationship develops, you’ll begin to feel more open. There is no set time table for opening one’s heart in a relationship because an open heart generally leads one to feeling vulnerable. Pay close attention to cues about reciprocal interest and look at nonverbal behaviors, frequency of calls, future plans, meeting family members, etc. We advise our clients to look beyond the surface after several dates. A few questions to think about before you totally let your guard down. What does your gut tell you? Are there red flags you’re trying to ignore? Are you repeating old patterns? Trust is an essential factor. Does he/she generally follow through on plans, honor commitments to you and others? What is the quality of their relationships to others? Do their actions follow their words? One of the greatest challenges our clients face is how do you know when you’re at the physical intimacy stage. Listen to yourself on this one. Don’t be pressured into going further than you’re ready to go emotionally. If your date isn’t willing to wait…that tells you something important. We have found relationships change once there’s physical intimacy. They get deeper or they fall apart. If you’re looking for that open hearted healthy connection, we suggest you take this step slowly. When you’re ready to be emotionally naked, the physical will follow. You just can’t jump start and rush into a deep connection. The rules change once you have physical intimacy. When you do, we have seen the microscope come out with concerns, worries, anxieties, like: why didn’t he call the next day, why didn’t she answer? I don’t know if I really like him/her anymore etc. When these super ingredients for a healthy love life: timing, trust, ease, joy, verbal/nonverbal communication and intimacy, come together, you’re heart will open and you’ll find yourself in a loving heart healthy relationship. Always open to your questions and feedback. With love, Dr. Nancy Gold & Barbara Black Goldfarb Cofounders of Elegant Introductions
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Riding the Wave to Romance

Tips & Tools For Relationship Success From The Pros, Elegant Introductions Matchmakers, Dr. Nancy Gold and Barbara Black Goldfarb.

Doesn’t it sound idyllic to spend days in love? And weekends out East with a special someone enjoying leisurely afternoons exploring Hamptons’ vineyards, galleries, beaches, and then watching the sun go down together at “the end of the world” aka Montauk? Thinking romance is out of reach? It doesn’t have to be. Don’t feel like you’re stranded on shore this Summer, ride the wave to dating success with matchmakers Dr. Nancy Gold and Barbara Black Goldfarb who founded Elegant Introductions an elite matchmaking service and relationship consulting firm after becoming fed up with the unsuccessful rates of set-up dates and online dating apps. On a search to find true romantics, Elegant Introductions is about personally matching couples, hand-choosing each date to make sure that compatibility is at a maximum, aligning personality, communication style, values, emotional availability, and physical appearance. With an excellent success ratio to base her insights and advice on, Dr. Nancy Gold has joined easthampton.com to help you find the relationship you’re looking for – and even improve the one you’ve got.

Q: Why did you found Elegant Introductions?

No doubt about it, it is a struggle to find quality men and women, no matter what your age is. Online dating and apps, the main ways singles meet one another today are disappointing. After a while, everyone gets tired of asking friends and family for blind dates. The “do you know anyone single?” question just becomes depressing. We launched EI to help our clients meet high caliber, educated, successful individuals, in a dignified elegant way. We coach our clients so that they can understand how to date successfully; our feedback loop helps our clients avoid anxiety or uncertainty after the date. Everyone gives us feedback which we share respectfully with both parties This is very positive as it leads to clarity, and an opportunity to grow.

Q: How do you coach a client who is sticking to conventional wisdom and having a hard time connecting?

Men and women get stuck. Habits, ways of thinking, feeling, and acting, these are hard to change. What’s my recommendation? Get out of your comfort zone! That is a great first step. Don’t let your past be your future? Evolve. Move forward. Love yourself then you can love others. Bring confidence and joy into the dating zone.

Q: What is your way of setting people at ease who come for help?

Respect, humor, and unconditional positive regard, that’s what we offer every client. You could call us an objective best friend. Trying your best but finding dating success elusive? Sometimes we just need someone to shine a light on our blind spot. The logistics of dating may not be easy to navigate but we are there to make the experience as “wrinkle-free” as possible.

Q: Are people clear about their relationship goals and needs?

People often believe they are clear about their needs but they get confused with their wants. Wants are generally superficial, based on what society tells us. You could say they are Madison Avenue-driven. Our needs are more basic; they reflect what true happiness is based on. Our relationship to you should feel like a comfortable pair of shoes. Think of us as a best friend, who is loyal and has your back.

Q: Is there one approach you suggest to help potential partners clarify what they are striving for?

The most important thing is to be open to change, new ideas and excitement to start a new adventure into love.

Q: With many of your clients opting to Summer in the Hamptons, what are your tips for successful dating on the East End?

No matter whether the Hamptons are near or far to home base, take the attitude: You never know where you will find love. Vacation spots lend themselves to relaxed interaction but don’t walk into every party out East thinking Ms. or Mr. Right is going to be there. Meet. Greet. Enjoy everyone for who they are: Be open to change and stay flexible.

Q: Tell us the key steps to help people achieve realistic expectations?

Getting realistic expectations about dating starts with understanding what your strengths and your limitations are. Don’t undervalue yourself. But don’t be inflexible either. Believe that you are someone people would want to date and consider all the things you bring to the table. Just be who you are. But also consider who is looking for you? Think about how many women/men fit the criteria you may think is the perfect match. Generally, people bring their old outdated list of “wants” when they come to us in search of a potential partner. Our role is to help them look at what really brings them joy…e.g. is height that important for love to blossom, etc. Finding joy in an existing relationship is something we can help with too. Feeling like you are off track with the one you love? We can offer help to get you re-connected.

Q: Getting people “un-stuck” – what moves men and women beyond their past when they are stuck?

It’s important to look at life with a new set of glasses…Think about how you have changed since your last relationship. New situations are not the same as ones in the past. It’s important to resolve the past in order to have a successful relationship in the future.

Q. The #Me too Movement has heightened the awareness of singles at work. Does this impact dating and other work relationships?

Many more people are coming to us for matchmaking and coaching due to the current climate in the workplace. #MeToo has made executives reticent if not reluctant to ask out coworkers, business associates, clients, etc. Men and women are much more aware of appropriate behavior now. But there’s still a need for coaching; people do ask us for clarification and we are here to help.

Q. Everyone is looking for acceptance and appreciation. How do you help your clients get this response?

The way our clients communicate with us as matchmakers reflects how they communicate with others. We help the client explore patterns of communication that may be getting in the way of having a successful relationship. There are some simple techniques we use to improve listening skills because being a good listener is vital to a good relationship.

Q. When you are on a date and things are said that are surprising, not comfortable, and even personal, what to do?

Taking things personally and having your buttons pushed means it is time to get to a good place in looking at yourself. Feeling offended is usually triggered by something internal that bothers us about ourselves. Looking at the mirror inside us is a good opportunity to grow.

Q. What to do when a new potential partner cannot stop talking about his Ex?

Discussing past loves is not a great way to encourage building a path forward. For several months, it’s best to not discuss and stay away from past relationships. You know everything about you, so ask lots of questions to find out about your date. Just say let’s not talk about that now, I want to hear about you. Let’s leave broken hearts for another time.

Q. First dates bring nerves. What is your recommendation to overcome nervousness when meeting a new match?

Bring your best self to the date….Try deep breathing then center yourself. Smile, everyone is nervous (You are not the only one!). Help the other person feel comfortable. But realize it’s just a date. Date to date not to mate. The more you judge yourself, the more you judge others. Let you be you. What are your best qualities? What do you bring to the table that is wonderful? Remember it’s how you make someone feel that makes them want to see you again or not.

Q. We all seek unconditional love. How do we find it and accept it?

Unconditional love starts with loving yourself. It’s acceptance, respect, appreciation, caring for the other’s wellbeing. Visit us at jelegantintroductions.com or call 1.305.615.1900 This article appears in our weekly column on EastHampton.com
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Foolproof Date Conversation Topics

Foolproof Date Conversation Topics

Foolproof Date Conversation Topics (and ones to avoid…)

When asking about the weather just isn’t enough, and asking about politics is a little too much, it can be hard to find the sweet spot for fun, engaging conversation starters. Luckily our expert matchmakers have you covered. If you didn’t have a great date right now, what would you be doing? What does your dream weekend look like?  Your dream job? Notice the common denominator? All those questions are different ways of asking about what they love to do.  Whether it’s career, hobby, or travel related, get your date talking about what they love! Not only will you get your date animated and excited to talk, but you will also discover what their values, priorities, and interests are. Tonight is fun for me because… Be positive and appreciative. Bonus points if you find something to appreciate in your date!  Focusing on the positive is the easiest way to make a date a good experience instead of a Tinder horror-story. And getting specific about what you appreciate helps you recognize what you’re looking for in a date, and eventually in a relationship. Wow, that must be very difficult… Empathy and compassion are the long-lost arts of dating.  They are the best way to build trust and the best way to bridge the gap between dating and a long-lasting relationship. Listen with your whole body to your date, absorb what they are telling you, and respond without making it about you. Even if it’s not a “love connection,” remember that dating is hard for everyone and you’re both in it together. Give as much patience and understanding as you would like in the messy world of dating! DON’T dwell on the past Past relationships, experiences, and loved ones may have been formative for you, but a date is about who you are now and who you want to be.  When you dwell on the past, it gives the impression those people or experiences are dominating your present.  Your date should be focusing on you, not on your exes or your children or your crazy relative. DON’T complain or be judgmental We’ve all had that terrible date who was rude to a waiter or couldn’t stop complaining about the food, the décor, the weather… Negativity while dating reads as a personality trait and a precedent for what your date can expect from a relationship with you. On top of that, the more you complain the more your brain will fixate on each complaint, distracting you from the good. Matchmaking is about so much more than just getting two compatible people in a room together. It’s about helping them see the best in each other, and helping them show the best of themselves, so any connection formed is real and lasting.  
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Summer Romance… will it last?

Is it real or just a summer fling?

Summer fling So you have fallen for someone wonderful at a friend’s party in the Hamptons a few weeks ago. With the carefree days of summer and relaxed attitudes your guard is down, you’re more open and available. In fact your new interest is so different from your “typical”. What to make of it? Is it real or just a summer fling? So, you dive in, the water is warm and you’re having a summer romance. Oh no, what now? Will it last beyond the summer? Do I want it to? Do they want it to? Is it real? Just a few thoughts: To start, let’s dig a little deeper to get to know each other in a meaningful way. Like what you ask? What do they care about? What do they love to do? What is family life for them? What makes them happy? What’s their political ideology and core values. How does alll of this fit with you? Is it physical? Is it companionship? Is it an emotional connection? Do they challenge you and stimulate you intellectually? It’s important not to overlook red flags. We often turn a blind eye to red flags thinking, “it’s is not such a big deal” or”why am I being so picky”? Or: this is such fun why should I look so deeply? Pay close attention to communication changes: Frequency of calls, texts, response time, time together, these are vital signals to let you know if the romance fizzling out or working well for either of you. Has the way of connecting changed recently? Has interest waned? Or peaked? Ask yourself, “Am I getting what I want and need?” Next be realistic in your expectIons. While you may be ready and willing to embrace your new romance, it may be more realistic to take it slow without too many demands. Enjoy the moment and be optimistic with some realism mixed in. One good indicator if the relationship will continue is if you are talking about any future plans together. Have you talked about holidays? Future trips? Goals? Family meetings? Ideas for future travel, what places do they dream of visiting? Dream away together, it’s fun and bonding to fantasize your future time together. Maybe spend a weekend together and see how you do in “real life” as a couple. The easiest way to go beyond the summer glow is to enjoy some real time together for a few days. Making decisions together, where to go, what to do, with whom, when, etc. This gives you a good idea of how you work as a team. Finally take time for yourself and stay grounded. Keep a positive attitude. Happy is infectious. Keep yourself involved in what helps you stay happy, healthy and grounded. Exercise, read, relax, visit friends, etc. Sometimes diving into a relationship head first leaves us ungrounded and confused. Chemistry can burn out leaving one feel empty and lonely. The bottom line is to dig a little deeper, pay attention to details beyond the fun and frolic of summer. Only time will tell if your summer romance will grow into true companionship and a real connection or a time-limited wonderful experience. In the meantime, enjoy your summer! Love, Dr. Nancy Gold and Barbara Black Goldfarb Visit us at jelegantintroductions.com or call 1.305.615.1900 This article originally appeared in our weekly column on EastHampton.com
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DATING UNPLUGGED: WHY TEXTING WHILE DATING ISN’T JUST RUDE, BUT MIGHT BE MESSING UP YOUR CHANCES FOR ROMANCE TEXTING WHILE DATING Cellphones are without question the greatest invention we never knew we needed. These tiny pocket computers have launched revolutions (looking at you, Arab Spring), replaced everything from maps to calculators to boom boxes, and given us a way to never be alone (stuck in line at Starbucks? Quick, check Facebook! Text your mom! Anything but be alone with your thoughts for more than a few minutes…). And they’ve been changing how our brains work. So naturally, we have to wonder, how have these smarter-than-ever phones changed the dating landscape?  On the one hand, they’ve brought a new platform by which to meet an increasing number of dates—Google searches for “best dating apps 2018” are up by over 2000% recently. On the other hand, they’ve been fundamentally altering (or interfering with) the dating process. Our very own University of Florida has been studying the addicting nature of cell phones—or more accurately, our newfound addiction to being constantly connected without having any quality connections. The rapid access to social contact and information can magnify existing anxieties we don’t even realize we have. Sensitive to how others perceive you? A lack of timely responses to your texts and voicemails can exacerbate that sensitivity into a bigger stressor.  Perfectionist in need of always making the best decisions? Endless Yelp reviews (and dating profiles) can lead to analysis paralysis and decision fatigue.  As we’ve already mentioned in our previous article on online dating apps, nearly 31% of users believe dating apps keeps people from settling down, because there’s always another option down the line, according to Pew. But most importantly for dating, phones without question interfere with our ability to connect in the moment. Despite what we’d all love to believe, multitasking is a myth that our brains can’t really do.  At best, we are rapidly shifting our attention between tasks.  That’s a great skill to have in a workplace, but terrible for forging a romantic connection. Chemistry is built on trust, respect, bonding, and physical attraction. While attraction can sometimes be instantaneous, the other components take time and attention to develop.  Every time your focus switches to your phone, no matter how briefly, it basically starts the bonding clock over again (not to mention reads as dismissive and disinterested to your date). Our matchmakers understand why our busy, professional singles are always trying to maximize their time, but that’s why it’s all the more important to focus completely when you’re on a date to get the most out of the experience you can. Let us save you time by discerning only the best matches for you in advance, so you can take the time you need to see if the chemistry is there. Meanwhile, if you find yourself on the receiving end of some rude texting behavior, try not to be too offended right away. After all, we’re all figuring out this brave new world of dating in the age of smartphones together!
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5 Tips Professional Matchmakers wish you knew about First Dates


Relax and Enjoy Your First Date with These Simple Elite Matchmaker Tips

The dreaded First Date. Nowadays, with another date just a swipe away, it seems like the pressures and awkwardness of a first date have only been magnified. At least with a professional matchmaker you know you’ll be meeting someone you actually have compatibility with, but whether or not you connect is really up to you. Our matchmakers put together a list of the five dating tips they wish more people knew going in to a first date: Bring out the best in your date It’s a well-known body language principle that humans subconsciously emulate the behaviors of those around them. If you are happy and comfortable, you will put your date at ease. If you are honest and compassionate, they will naturally respond in kind. Bringing out the best in your date requires you to see what their best qualities are, rather than being critical from the start. Best of all, it might just bring out the best in you. Bring your smile It may sound like the cheesiest dating advice in the world, but it’s actually science! People with smiles were perceived as more glowing and healthier than others (with or without makeup!). More than that, smiling relaxes you. If you come into a first date with a smile, you are coming in with an open and positive attitude, which makes you much more likely to connect with your date. Listen rather than talk… The impulse to talk when you want to impress a first date is a natural one. Unfortunately, you don’t notice or learn as much while you’re talking, and the more you talk the more chances you have to say something embarrassing or overload your date with information! Focusing on your date makes you less self-conscious. Even better, you’ll make your date feel understood and cared about, building a bond and a natural flow of give-and-take conversation. …But don’t interrogate your date This goes for ‘interviewing,’ and ‘qualifying,’ too. The moment you make the date feel like an interview is the moment you put your partner on the defensive. No one likes to feel like they need to “sell” themselves, and it’s certainly not romantic! A relationship requires open-mindedness and mutual respect, so the first date should reflect those traits too. It’s personal, not professional—you don’t want your date to feel dating you would be a job! Be friendly even if it’s not a match Not every first date is going to lead to a meaningful relationship, and that’s okay. But every first date is a chance to practice being open and connecting with another human being. After all, practice makes perfect, and you might even have fun. If nothing else, just remember our favorite quote, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.” So go out and shine!
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