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Ask Nancy: How do I stop building a wall every time I get into a relationship?

Dear Nancy,

I really want a relationship but I build a wall every time I get close to another person. Help! – Miriam G.

Dear Miriam,

Your thoughts are interfering with your heart. Try to examine what it is that is preventing you from moving forward when there’s a possibility of a new relationship. Is it fear of rejection, failure, or getting hurt? It’s very possible that your memories of past relationships are stopping you from forming new ones. You probably need to learn and practice new behaviors that may stop you from sliding into your familiar patterns. With the right attitude, this can be a fun and enlightening journey of self-discovery. When the next person comes along in your life, just take it slow. Build a strong friendship, and share your feelings before moving ahead with an intimate relationship. It can be scary to take this leap, but it’s well worth it.

Got a dating or relationship question? Get expert advice from Nancy Gold, co-founder of Elegant Introductions. Aside from being a professional matchmaker with Elegant Introductions, Nancy is a psychologist who has been counseling individuals and couples for the past 25 years. If you have a dating or relationship question, just send it to social@jelegantintroductions.com and put Ask Nancy in the subject line. Be sure to include your full name and email address. (This is for verification only. To protect your privacy, we only use first names and initials online.) Nancy will be glad to answer as many questions as possible.

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