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New Relationships: Dating and the Holidays

It’s getting close to that time of the year again; the holiday season is fast approaching. The holidays are a time for being with those you care about – family, friends and neighbors, and significant others. But, what do you do if you have just started dating someone new around this festive time? How much (or how little) should they be included in your seasonal celebrations?

Tips for Dating During the Holidays
  • Expectations – It can be difficult to deal with all the expectations that surround the season. Family gatherings, office parties, and gift giving all combine to add stress to the season. We recommend discussing potential pitfalls with your new love before they come up. If you haven’t been dating for very long, find out how much togetherness is right for you during the season, as a couple. Will they be upset if they are (or aren’t) included at a work get-together? Ask them if they feel it would be appropriate to meet your family (or vice versa). Explore their thoughts on exchanging gifts, the holiday traditions that are important to each of you, where each of you will spend the holiday, and talk about any obligations you may each have to meet.
  • Gift Giving – Gift giving is tricky at any time of the year, but the holidays throw it into overdrive. For one thing, Madison Avenue constantly flashes ads that say your present has to be extra-special which increases the pressure to say just the right thing with your gift. For people in new relationships, it means having to walk a fine line between giving a present that is appropriate for the amount of time you have been dating, but also says you would like to continue seeing the person, and is one that doesn’t scare them off because you gave them “too much” of a gift, too fast.
    • If you have been dating less than three months, we recommend something fun and priced around $15 – $35. Keep away from jewelry or presents that convey romantic feelings because they send a more serious message to the recipient. Likewise, avoid practical or household gifts (a wine opener, for instance) for the same reason.
    • If you have been dating exclusively for the last three to six months, spend around $40 – $75 and give your honey something that is more romantic or has some meaning to the relationship (for instance, earrings or tickets to a play you know they’ve been wanting to see).
  • Holiday Gatherings – Family pressures to meet your new boyfriend or girlfriend can be overwhelming and there can be hurt feelings if you don’t include your new love in a holiday office party. Sometimes, these types of gatherings can make or break a new romance particularly if you see that your love interest doesn’t treat family or coworkers well or if you learn that you can’t stand their family.  Talk about whether you feel they should accompany you to these occasions in advance and discuss your reasons for not inviting them if you don’t feel it is appropriate. That way, there will be no misunderstandings or hard feelings when the event comes up.
  • Less Daylight – This may sound strange, but the length of daylight hours can change how people view their romances. Shortened days make us all feel more irritable and tired and the holidays just add to the stress, particularly if you throw the inevitable fall or winter cold into the mix. We suggest taking your vitamins (B complex, C and zinc will help fight colds; vitamin D and gingko can help with the winter blues), getting enough sleep during the hustle and bustle of the season, and washing your hands frequently to help avoid germs.
  • Over-Indulgence – Drinking too much holiday eggnog and other spirits often contributes to breakups at this time of the year. It can escalate underlying frustrations and conflicts and bring out someone’s most obnoxious and offensive behaviors. Be sure to take it easy with the alcohol during the holidays!

There are ways to keep from feeling the effects of the holidays and communication is key during the season. Talk with your new love beforehand: discuss the things that may drive you crazy and your expectations for how each of you see the holidays proceeding. Try to lighten up a little, keep your sense of humor, and realize that little upsets will happen because life is not a Norman Rockwell painting. By focusing on meeting each others needs, you’ll forge stronger bonds and you can start the New Year on the right note.

We Can Help!

The holidays (or any day) are a great time to meet “The One”. Our elite matchmaking services make is easy: we pre-screen and pre-qualify our singles because you deserve the best. For more information, call Elegant Introductions in South Florida at 305-615-1900 or contact us today.

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