What do you miss about old-school dating?

When we saw this post in the Huffington Post, we couldn’t help but laugh. It was very much a laugh of familiarity. As matchmakers, we hear this from clients all the time: dating certainly has changed, and it’s not what it used to be.

But here’s a news flash: dating has never been easy. We sure remember what it was like. There were the blind dates that mostly turned out to be horrible. Then there were the dates who didn’t quite turn out to be as great as we thought they would.

Whether you’re used to the old school or new school of dating, we understand your frustrations. That’s why we work closely with you to find out about your history, your values, and what you expect to find in a partner. We are “old school” in one very important way. We carefully vet all our clients. Before you even meet your first date, you will get a true sense of who he is. We know that many singles miss that very much, and we’re bringing that kind of dating back.

Contact us today to find out more. And click here to find out what Huffington Post readers miss most about old-school dating. Do you agree? Tell us what you miss about old-school dating by commenting below. We would love to hear from you.

How one Jewish couple found the formula for successful relationships

Is there a scientific formula for long-lasting relationships? John and Julie Schwartz Gottman, a long-married couple (they’ve been wed for almost 30 years) who happen to be psychologists, think there is. Their findings, and how they came about them, are detailed in this fascinating article. Though the Gottmans’ work focuses on couples who are already together, there’s a lot here that Jewish singles can relate to, as well.

Start with the couple’s own story. Before they found each other, John and Julie were both married and divorced once before. When they met, it was their fascination with each other’s work and ideas that drew them together. Nowadays, so much emphasis is placed on physical attraction. As Jewish matchmakers, we often tell our clients that, while physical attraction is important, it’s not anywhere near as crucial as the philosophical bonds — your values, your interests, your future goals — that draw couples together.

Just like successful relationships, successful dating takes patience, introspection, and commitment.

John and Julie have closely studied thousands of couples in committed relationships for many years, and they often hold couples workshops. They remind participants that, even in the best of relationships, couples fight, have major disagreements, and disappoint one another. It’s how they handle these setbacks that make all the difference. They consider their mission of helping couples stay together as part of the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam–repairing the world. At Elegant Introductions, we feel the same way about our mission to match Jewish singles looking to find that long-lasting relationship they have always wanted. Just like successful relationships, successful dating takes patience, introspection, and commitment. Contact us today and let us guide you on your journey.

To read the article on the Gottmans and their research, click here.

 

When it comes to dating, make sure your requirements are realistic

The other day, I heard someone say something pretty profound when it comes to dating: “In order to get what you like, you have to give what you like.” In other words, if you envision your ideal man with certain specific requirements, you better make sure you already possess these requirements yourself. Chances are your ideal man wants pretty similar things from you.

At Elegant Introductions, we pride ourselves with picking “the best fish in the sea” for our clients. Every one of our clients is a “catch” in the best sense of the word. Still, people are complicated, and this can be especially true in the dating world. The yings and yangs of mutual attraction have always been mysterious, mainly because they are so personal. This is why falling in love can be both wonderful and nerve-wracking—sometimes at the same time.

But there are some things that are pretty universal. Sure, there are people out there blessed with model-good looks. But they tend to fall for partners who also have model-good looks. There are people who are super-successful, but they generally look for others who are at their level—or at least possess the drive and determination to get to that level.

You get the picture. It’s fine—healthy, in fact—to have requirements when it comes to dating and relationships. It’s just that those requirements have to be realistic. This involves taking an honest look at yourself, which is always a good thing to do. At matchmakers at Elegant Introductions, we love helping singles do just that. After all, for things to go swimmingly, even the best fish in the sea much be compatible with one another.

Nancy

 

 

 

Are you relationship-ready?

As matchmakers, we love connecting singles and making successful matches. Everyone who comes to us wants to be in a long-lasting relationship. We help them find out if they’re ready for such a relationship.

In relationships—as in life—there’s a difference between wanting something and being able to handle that something. You’ve heard it before, but it’s worth repeating: Relationships take work—not to mention patience, understanding, and willingness to compromise. Comedian Rita Rudner put it best when she said, “I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

Even the happiest couples face potential minefields, big and small, every day. Are you ready for them? Here are a few questions to ask yourself.

  • Am I happy with myself right now? Before looking for happiness with a partner, you should be pretty fulfilled yourself. There’s always room for self-improvement. However, if you have some big personal issues to work out, it’s probably best to give yourself time to deal with them before looking for a relationship.
  • Am I willing to make time for a relationship? People with busy lives often tell us that they “don’t have time” for a relationship. That’s always a red flag. You have to make time for a relationship, especially in the beginning. Here’s the good news: if the sparks really fly, it won’t feel like you’re making time at all.
  • Am I open to new experiences? The older we get, the more set in our ways we get. This is human nature. This can also make relationships tricky, especially in the beginning. When two independent people get together, there’s always that push-pull between what changes and what stays the same. Both you and your mate must be willing to break some old patterns.

If you answered “yes” to these questions, then chances are, you’re relationship ready. We’d love to introduce you to successful singles who are as ready as you are to find that special someone. But even if you’re not quite there yet, that’s okay. You’re on your way. We’re always here to help you get there.

What you really mean when you say that you don’t have time for a relationship

“I’d love to be in a relationship, but I don’t have the time to find one. I’m too busy with…” Fill in the blank. Career. School. Children. The reasons are endless.

As elite matchmakers, we often hear this from clients who want to enter the dating world, but don’t see how they can fit that into their busy lives. Their reasons are absolutely valid. In fact, one of the big advantages of our matchmaking service is that we save you time by vetting all our clients, and getting to know them. When we introduce them to you, the goal is to make you feel as though you already know each other.

Still, when we work with clients, we do our best to free them from the “I don’t have time for a relationship” mindset. Because, 9 times out of 10, the real issue isn’t a packed calendar; it’s fear.

  • Consider the things you do anyway—and invite someone special to join you.

Ask yourself—are you so busy that you never go out to dinner? Or go to a movie? Or spend at least an occasional day at the beach? Hopefully, the answer is “no.” If the match is solid (and we do our best to ensure that it is), then that person also loves to do many of the same things you like to do. So why not call that person and ask them to join you? You already have a lot in common—and you already have the makings of a great date.

  • Even “chores” can turn into dates

If all goes well, it shouldn’t even feel as though you’re “making time” to date. If the attraction is mutual, it should feel natural to want to do things together. Even something mundane, like going grocery shopping, can turn into something fun and special if you do it with someone you just met and really like.

  • Keep your mind—and your heart—open

When the sparks are flying and the chemistry is right, it will be easy to make time for that special someone. So, yes, you do have time for a relationship—no matter how busy you are!

When you’re looking for your soulmate, you don’t have to go it alone. Contact us today. Let us be the concierge for your personal life. You’ll spend less time searching for that special someone—and more time meeting fun, interesting, and successful singles.