Dating Advice in Your 40s, 50s and Beyond

It can be tough and intimidating to get out there and start dating again in your 40s, 50s, or after. For one thing, you worry about how you look and if you’ll attract someone; for another, you probably aren’t even sure of where to begin.

Some tips for jumping back into the dating game:

  1. Don’t split the check on a first date – it makes men look cheap if they ask to do it and makes women feel like the man thinks they aren’t worth it.
  2. Be wary of the newly divorced – some people can’t be alone and they often bring their baggage into the next relationship.
  3. Take some (tiny) risks – don’t let your insecurities get in the way. Look outside your “type” and date a little older or younger than you normally would.
  4. Enlist your friends – not only can they set you up with someone, they can talk you off the ledge if you’ve decided to “settle” in a relationship that isn’t great for you.
  5. Be honest in your priorities and in what matters the most to you.
  6. Get past hurts and relationships behind you before dating someone new.
  7. Invest a little effort in your appearance.
  8. Stick to your boundaries – if the person you are dating wants you to drop everything for them or pushes you to act in a way you wouldn’t normally, they aren’t honoring your wants and needs and they definitely are not the right one for you.

Searching for love can be difficult, but we simplify the process with our elite matchmaking services! If you need some dating advice in your 40s and beyond, turn to Elegant Introductions for the answers. Call Barbara and Nancy today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.

Relationship Expectations

We all have had a “list” in our minds of what our ideal relationship would look like, but at a certain point in time, we need to dust that list off and check it over to see if the qualities we are looking for are still serving us well. This is especially true if you haven’t reassessed them in a while, because our needs change as we grow and mature.

If you are not willing to date someone unless they drive a certain type of car, aren’t the right height, or don’t make a certain amount of money, you might be a little unrealistic about your relationship expectations. While it’s OK to have ideas of what you want in a romantic partner, holding your dates to a “checklist” and being overly stringent with your requirements is going to set you up for disappointment in the long run.

Learn to distinguish between wants and needs: you need to be loved, understood, and appreciated by your romantic partner, however you don’t need to date someone who drives a Ferrari (even if that would be a nice “extra”). By managing your relationship expectations, you’ll free yourself from getting caught up in frustration and distress.
At Elegant Introductions, we take the time to get to know you and find out what you need and want in a relationship before we match you with anyone. To learn more about Elegant Introductions, call Barbara and Nancy today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.

How to Tell if He is Interested

We saw a thought-provoking article today on a content website regarding how to tell if a man is interested in a woman (http://www.aish.com/d/w/I-Dont-Know-If-Hes-Interested.html?s=mbaw). In short, the article talks about feeling a connection with your date and then worrying that he isn’t feeling the same way about you. We know that this is something that can drive you crazy, but we want you to take a step back after the date and give yourself a little breathing room before rushing into calling him. After all, you don’t want to look desperate (and, therefore, much less attractive to him), do you?

Meanwhile, if you think about the time you spent together, you can see signs that will let you know if he is interested in you. Did he move closer to you during the date? Did he joke with you or tease you a little? Did he casually mention a future contact with you (for example, he said, “we should see that movie” or “we should try that food”.)? Now you know how to tell if he is interested! Be patient and you’ll likely get to know him better soon.

At Elegant Introductions, we ask all the right questions so you know the men you meet are already interested in you. To learn more about Elegant Introductions, call Barbara and Nancy today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.

Relationship Red Flags

Relationship red flags are behaviors that need to be questioned or addressed when you observe them in your partner. Most relationship red flags are related to violating the basic pillars of successful relationships — trust, communication, respect fidelity, etc. Sighting your partner waving one of these red flags isn’t necessarily an indicator that the relationship is dead, but you should definitely bring some attention to these issues.

A common behavior that leads to a relationship downfall is a lack of communication. Successful relationships rely on partners being able to talk to each other. Similarly, trust is important. If your partner is consistently lying to you or is afraid to be honest, then it suggests some serious problems down the road. Not having time for each other is another red flag — a relationship cannot develop positively if the people involved don’t spend time with each other.

Some more serious red flags include excessively controlling behavior, which can manifest itself in your partner trying to separate you from your other friends and family and trying to monopolize all of your time. Similarly, how someone treats service workers can give a decent insight into their character — someone who is rude to people who provide them service could be buying themselves a ticket for a power trip you don’t want to be invited on.

If you need help flagging down a date, Elegant Introductions is here to help! For more information, call Nancy and Barbara at Elegant Introductions today at 305-615-1900 or contact us today.

Dating Body Language

On a date, what people don’t say can be as important as what they do say. Dating body language can communicate volumes about people, and learning how to appropriately use it and read it can help you become better at navigating the often confusing, unclear waters of relationships. Being aware of the nonverbal cues you’re giving out can help you steer a date in the direction of your choice. If you want to express interest, simple things like playing with your hair can send a strong message. Another subtle way to use your body to indicate that you like your date is to let your fingers do the talking — circling a rim of a glass or twirling a pen, for example. A friendly smile lasting for a few seconds is another universally recognized way to let your date know you enjoy their company.

Just as important as giving out dating body language is recognizing it. Men stand erect when they want to appear confident, so someone standing up straight is trying to attract your attention. A slightly raised eyebrow is another interest indicator. A man who is fixing his hair (or making it messier, depending on the look he’s going for) is probably trying to make himself seem more attractive — another indicator. And if a man is making excuses to touch you, he’s definitely in to you. Be on the lookout for eye contact in general, and if you’re interested, don’t be afraid to make some either (just not so long that it’s uncomfortable for either of you). Also, people find comfort in similarity, so subtle mimicry and mirroring can definitely be a way to show you like who you’re with and want to be more intimate.

If you’d like a conversation partner to help you become fluent in body language, Elegant Introductions is here to help! For more information, call Nancy and Barbara at Elegant Introductions today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.

Dating Advice: Dating In Your 40s And Beyond

Are you in your 40s or 50s (or beyond) and finding yourself having to jump into the dating game again? Maybe you’re divorced or widowed or are simply finding that you’ve been alone for a while and are now looking for a romantic partner. Whatever your situation, it can be daunting to think about putting yourself back “out there” again. But, wouldn’t it be easier if you knew that dating in your 40s and beyond is actually a better time to find true love? Trust us, it can be, if you go into your search with a few things in mind…

Over 40 Dating Advice
  • You Have More to Offer – Whether you are just entering middle age or have already sailed through it, you’ve learned from past errors and have been through enough trials to know what you want in a romantic partner. You can, hopefully, spot romantic red flags waving from a mile away. Additionally, you’ll be more adept at handling conflict and better able to communicate with your partner.
  • Women: You are at Your Passion Peak – As a women’s reproductive years wind down, her interest in sex often rises. Why? In many cases, it’s because women can take the time to play and enjoy life a little more. If she’s a mother, her children are likely old enough that she doesn’t have to worry about getting up with the baby or chasing after toddlers so she isn’t as tired. Biologically, for women who are in their 40s or beyond, their proverbial “clock” isn’t ticking as loudly anymore, so they can relax and focus more on themselves and their lover. Plus they aren’t getting into the wrong relationships just because their childbearing years are winding down and they want to have a baby.
  • You’re More Stable Financially and Emotionally – When you reach the 40s, you are generally established in a profession, so you have had time to build a nest egg, reduce debt, and work out a game plan that allows you to create financial stability while giving you some room to enjoy yourself with exciting vacations and romantic dinners. Emotionally, you are less likely to fall into the same old traps, are better equipped to choose commitments wisely, and are reliable enough to take them seriously.
  • Societal pressure is off – In your 40s and after, you don’t have to worry about what society thinks about you not being married because the pressure is off to pair up and produce children. You can just relax and look for the person who completes your already autonomous life: the one whom you simply enjoy spending time with, the one who makes you happy to be around.

Some final thoughts – dating in your 40s and after can be much more exciting and fulfilling than dating in your 20s and 30s. As you mature, you gain advantages over your younger counterparts: your identity is firmly established, you have learned what is important to you, and you can handle setbacks with grace. You can lead a life separate from your partner so you are less likely to fall into the trap of having to have someone around simply because you are lonely. You are better able to see someone for who they are rather than for the “perfect” attributes you used to require in your youth. With this enhanced self-awareness, there is a greater chance that you build more lasting relationships.

We Can Help!

If you are looking for The One, we can help! Our elite matchmakers take the time to get to know you and find out what you need and want in a relationship before they match you with anyone. For more information, call Nancy and Barbara at Elegant Introductions in South Florida at 305-615-1900 or contact us today.

 

Miami Dating Workshop Coming!

Many people strike out in relationships because they miss the cues when it comes to verbal and nonverbal communication. How do you come across? What messages are you actually sending and receiving? Join Barbara and Nancy of Elegant Introductions at Limmud Miami (http://limmudmiami.org/presenters-2015/) for a dynamic and exciting interactive presentation, “How to Hit a Home Run in Dating: Our Playbook for Winning at Relationships”, that will transform your relationship EQ.  Slide into home plate and see immediate results on the scoreboard. This engaging workshop will take place on Sunday, February 22, 2015 at 11:00 a.m at the FIU Kovens Conference Center in North Miami.

From the Hebrew “to learn”, Limmud is an internationally popular festival of life and learning incorporating lectures, workshops, performances, panels, text-study sessions, film, meditation, discussions, exhibits, and performances. Limmud Miami is a day experience for Learning and Exploring. It is set of workshops and presentations where some of the world’s most dynamic educators, performers and teachers from South Florida and around the world, working in a variety of educational styles—experiential workshops, text-study sessions, film, meditation, discussions, exhibits, performance and more—will present in an experiential smorgasbord.

For more information about our Miami dating Limmud workshop or about Elegant Introduction’s elite matchmaking services, please contact us at JElegantIntroductions.com or call us at 305-615-1900 today.

Dating Tips: Are You Too Unrealistic?

Q & A: Am I being too rigid and unrealistic?

If your list of qualities for a potential suitor is longer than your average grocery list, then chances are you’re being too rigid. While it’s good to have what you want in mind, focus on the most important qualities — such as the core values you want your partner to have — and allow some wiggle room to give you the best chance at finding someone who will excite you and sweep you off your feet.

No one special in your life? We make the matches that matter! For more information, call Nancy and Barbara at Elegant Introductions at 305-615-1900 or contact us today. Read more dating tips on our blog at JElegantIntroductions.com/blog.

Dealing with First Date Anxiety

First dates can be stressful — new experiences and meeting new people can produce some nerves. However, first dates can go a lot more smoothly with a positive attitude and some relaxation prior. Pre-date positive self-talk can make you feel more self-assured. If you want another confidence boost, having friends help you pick out your outfit (either via seeking approval via text or hanging out with them before your date) is another way to feel good about yourself to help calm the first date jitters. If you are feeling up to it, a little bit of exercise — maybe 10 minutes or so — is a good way to release endorphins to put you in a good mood. Alternatively, release some of your nervous energy in a positive way by listening to some of your favorite songs and dancing your first date anxiety away.

Just as important as building up a positive attitude is having some perspective. If the idea of dating is stressful, focus on the activity you’ll be doing instead. Remember that a single date is a short event in your life and that even a bad date doesn’t last long in the scheme of things. Have confidence that things will go well but don’t expect too much from the date. Also, come to the date prepared — have some conversation starters ready to start your date off on a strong note. Picking a time for a date when you won’t have time to stress — after an evening class or right after work — might also help control your pre-date jitters, as well as deciding to plan something after your date to cap how long it can be. Better to leave your date wanting more than to have it last too long.

If you need help finding a first date so you can put these tips into practice, Elegant Introductions is here to help! For more information, call Nancy and Barbara at Elegant Introductions today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.

Dating Tips: Age Differences

Q & A: What is realistic for me to be looking for — I’m 65 and don’t want to date anyone older than me: Am I wrong?

When it comes to dating, rigid rules about age differences are rarely conducive to positive experiences. What matters most is if your goals and core values (honesty, reliability, kindness, views on family, etc.) are similar enough, how you feel in each others social circles, your views on things like intimacy, and how your psychological ages compare.

At Elegant Introductions, we take the time to get to know you and find out what you need and want in a relationship before we match you with anyone. To read more dating tips and to learn more about Elegant Introductions, call Barbara and Nancy today at 305-615-1900 or contact us for more information.