Foolproof Date Conversation Topics (and ones to avoid…)
When asking about the weather just isn’t enough, and asking about politics is a little too much, it can be hard to find the sweet spot for fun, engaging conversation starters. Luckily our expert matchmakers have you covered.
If you didn’t have a great date right now, what would you be doing? What does your dream weekend look like? Your dream job?
Notice the common denominator? All those questions are different ways of asking about what they love to do. Whether it’s career, hobby, or travel related, get your date talking about what they love! Not only will you get your date animated and excited to talk, but you will also discover what their values, priorities, and interests are.
Tonight is fun for me because…
Be positive and appreciative. Bonus points if you find something to appreciate in your date! Focusing on the positive is the easiest way to make a date a good experience instead of a Tinder horror-story. And getting specific about what you appreciate helps you recognize what you’re looking for in a date, and eventually in a relationship.
Wow, that must be very difficult…
Empathy and compassion are the long-lost arts of dating. They are the best way to build trust and the best way to bridge the gap between dating and a long-lasting relationship. Listen with your whole body to your date, absorb what they are telling you, and respond without making it about you. Even if it’s not a “love connection,” remember that dating is hard for everyone and you’re both in it together. Give as much patience and understanding as you would like in the messy world of dating!
DON’T dwell on the past
Past relationships, experiences, and loved ones may have been formative for you, but a date is about who you are now and who you want to be. When you dwell on the past, it gives the impression those people or experiences are dominating your present. Your date should be focusing on you, not on your exes or your children or your crazy relative.
DON’T complain or be judgmental
We’ve all had that terrible date who was rude to a waiter or couldn’t stop complaining about the food, the décor, the weather… Negativity while dating reads as a personality trait and a precedent for what your date can expect from a relationship with you. On top of that, the more you complain the more your brain will fixate on each complaint, distracting you from the good.
Matchmaking is about so much more than just getting two compatible people in a room together. It’s about helping them see the best in each other, and helping them show the best of themselves, so any connection formed is real and lasting.