As many of you read this, you are preparing for the holidays. Or you’re busy holiday shopping, or readying to welcome snowbirds from up north, or thinking about New Year’s resolutions. Maybe, if you’re a professional multi-tasker, you’re doing all of the above.
But one thing you are probably not doing is dating. Many singles tend to write off their dating life in December, and pick it up again in January. That’s too bad, because you could be missing out on some wonderful opportunities to meet someone special. As matchmakers, we’re here to tell you that the holiday season is really a wonderful time for dating.
Take, for example, your friends’ holiday celebrations. Many singles love them, because they’re always festive, and because even shy singles are never at a loss for conversation starters. You can go up to that cute guy you notice, and ask him anything from how he’s celebrating the holidays. There’s less pressure than there is at more structured events, and this normally makes singles more at ease.
Here are some other useful tips for meeting singles at holiday events.
- Go with the attitude that you’re going to have a good time, no matter what.Especially if you’re going to a party where others are bringing partners or spouses, you could get down on yourself for not having a significant other. Do your best to avoid thinking like that. Think about the many blessings you already have in your life. That lends itself to a good attitude. Our research suggests a positive and joyous attitude is one of the greatest points of attraction.
- Keep your conservation positive. When talking about yourself, or what you’ve been up to this year, focus on the highlights. We all have our down periods, but people you’re just meeting rarely want to hear about them. Save those for when you have a chance to know each other better.
- Avoid talking about exes and past relationships. Wipe them out of your mind as if they don’t exist. Again, it’s the holidays. People who hardly know you want to hear about the positives. Focus any relationship conversation more on some of the things you enjoy doing with others. Keep it all about your present and your future.
- Go easy on the drinking, and seek out others who are doing that, too. During the holidays, this can be easier said than done. But the hard truth is that almost nothing good ever comes from situations where you, or any prospective partners, drink too much. Have fun, of course, but know your limits.
In the long run, holiday dating is as much about attitude as it is about planning. If you really want to find a meaningful relationship, you must train yourself to be positive, and to tell yourself that it’s going to happen. The trick is to do this confidently, so that all your outstanding attributes and self-confidence shine through. That’s the second criteria our research suggests. Confidence is also one of the greatest attractions for singles.
The bottom line is, keep your mind open to all possibilities. You can invite a special someone to join you at one of the many new holiday movies out there. Or maybe a pleasant beach stroll if you have holiday vacation time. You get the picture.
With the right perspective, any season is the right season for finding a soulmate. So, don’t write December off. There’s still a chance that, when 2018 rolls around, you can start the year off with a promising new relationship.
We hope you are having a happy and joyous Chanukah!
Barbara and Nancy