There are few things in life that are as exciting, or as nerve-wracking, as dating – especially when you’re just getting to know someone. So many things go through your mind: Will he find me attractive? Will she think I’m interesting? Can I get through the date without spilling something? All these come into play – as well they should.

As matchmakers, we have the privilege of hearing about many first dates from our clients. One of the things we’ve learned is that it’s sometimes easy to take dating for granted. This causes some people to do things they would never do on, say, a job interview.

So, in our hopes of making you a little less nervous on your next date, here are our 5 tips for basic dating etiquette. They’re gleaned from what our clients tell us, so we speak from experience.

1. Be on time. – This shows that you’re organized and considerate of other people’s time. On the other hand, very few things can sour a first impression more than being late. Do you like waiting for people with no explanation? Neither does your date. At the very least, call or text with a heads-up if you know you’re running behind – and even then, you should have a solid estimate of when you’ll get there. Nowadays, with so many ways of easy communication, there’s no excuse for not doing this. And speaking of easy communication…
2. Keep your phone off. – When you’re on a date, focus on your date; not on your work emails, or your calendar, or a jillion other things that easily distract you. Sure, you’re successful and important, and people depend on you. But guess what? Unless you’re a brain surgeon on call for emergencies, chances are your messages can wait.
3. Talk less, listen more. – Remember, when you’re on a date, you’re very much on a fact-finding mission – and if you talk a lot, you’re not finding anything out about your date. Granted, some people are naturally outgoing, while others are shy. This is where questions become a trusted tool for success. Ask questions, look him in the eye, and listen. This gives him the respect he deserves – and it gives you the information you deserve as you determine whether you are right for one another.
4. Treat the wait staff with respect. – How you treat wait staff says a lot about your attitude and values. Of course, if the service is bad or they bring the wrong food, you should speak up. But even here, it’s best to be firm and calm. No yelling or name-calling. Show your date that you’re kind, you have a big heart, and that you can handle slip-ups with class.
5. Go with a positive attitude – and just have fun! It’s a date – not a commitment. You hope it goes well, but even if it doesn’t, what is it but just a few hours out of your life? If you see a boring movie, that, too, is time you won’t get back. But does that mean the date was boring? Of course not! It’s the same with dating. If you have the right frame of mind, you’ll discover that all dates have advantages. If you already feel it’s not a good fit, you may be surprised at other connections or positive outcomes you may have with this person. At the very least, you will meet someone unique and special just like you. Just kick back and enjoy.

With these tips, you drastically improve your chances of a positive date. That’s good, because you’ll continue using them in a new relationship. After all, if you’re positive, calm, thoughtful, respectful, and a good listener, those qualities will certainly help you when you engage in a new relationship.