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Dating and kids: When should your kids meet your new love?

Here’s a question I often get from divorcees or widows with kids at home:

I’m seeing this wonderful man. I think he might be the one. But when should I introduce him to my kids?

This is always a potential minefield. Unfortunately, there’s no easy universal answer.

It depends on many factors: How old are your kids? How long has it been since your divorce? Do your kids still hope that you and your ex will get back together? These are just some of the questions you must ask yourself.

Especially if your kids are very young while you’re dating, it’s always a good idea to save introductions until you’re sure there’s a potential for a lasting, committed relationship. Beyond that, it’s best to trust your parental instincts. When you do introduce your new love to your kids, make your kids the center of attention during that conversation. Let them ask questions. If they’re shy, don’t force them to do or say anything they don’t want to. It might be a good idea to plan a family outing that involves your kids’ favorite activities.

Above all, be patient and understanding. Many of the happiest families I know are blended families. You just have to be very careful when you first mix your blend.



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