We all have anxiety from time to time, but going on a date (a first date or otherwise) can put your fears into overdrive because you start wondering about what to say, what to do, and what to wear? Even if you’ve been out with the other person a few times, dating anxiety can still set in, and the more you mull things over, the more nervous you get.
Never fear! The matchmakers at Elegant Introductions have some tips that will help you put your dating stress behind you so you can enjoy yourself while you are out with that special someone!
- Be honest and tell your date you are nervous. They probably are, too, and talking about it can take the pressure off and help put both of you at ease.
- Take some deep breaths: did you know that you breathe faster and more shallowly when you are nervous and that, in turn, can make you even more anxious? Drop your shoulders down and take in a slow breath to the count of 6 (try to “breathe” into your stomach or expand your abdomen), hold it for a slow count of 6, and exhale slowly for another count of 6 (flatten your stomach as you breathe out), wait for a slow count of 6, and begin the cycle again. Try to do this for at least 10 breaths.
- If you have dating anxiety over a first date or new relationship, meet for coffee instead of having the added pressure of going to a restaurant. Meeting for coffee is more casual and is usually quicker than having a meal: if you aren’t connecting with your date, you can cut your losses and leave early. Conversely, you can move on to another activity (or stay right there and get another cup of coffee!) if things are going well.
- Visualize your date going positively from start to finish. Athletes do this all the time: they run the plays over in their minds, picture their perfect ski jump and how they will do it, or see themselves holding up the winner’s trophy. By mentally rehearsing, athletes build their confidence and improve their physical and psychological reactions. So can you!
- Like the Scouts, be prepared! A big part of dating anxiety revolves around what to talk about so there aren’t long, uncomfortable silences. You can overcome this by writing down some open-ended questions beforehand that will help you get to know your date a little better. For example: “Do you have a pet? Tell me about a funny trick it can do…”
- Drop your expectations. Simply go out with the idea that you will have a fun new experience and forget about trying to figure out if your date is “the one” or even if you’ll have another date with them.
Struggling with dating anxiety? We can help! Our proven matchmaking services help you get to know your date before you even meet. For more information, call Elegant Introductions in South Florida at 305-615-1900 today.
